OMG SLUT!

(After drunkenly counting how many guys she's made out with IN HER LIFE, this college girl orates): "Stop it you guys! I am not a slut! I was at a bar last night and this man asked me to suck his dick. But I like told him no, because I'm not a slut!"
-overheard in dorm room

Global....Cooling??

"You know, the planet is getting colder every year! I just want some warmth!"

-Random white girl who obviously missed all the commotion about the planet getting warmer